David Boone - From Park Bench to Harvard

Here is a story of a young man who went from sleeping on a park bench to attending Harvard this fall.  I believe we should be focusing on stories such as this one as much or more than on the killings and other tragedies in our society.

The Pros and Cons of Cubicle Life

The Cubicle Jungle, Cube Farm, the Cubicle Corral, the Land of Cloth and Steel Walls, Cube Nation. All names for the ubiquitous office phenomenon of workspaces created by propping movable, chest-high walls together in squares. Usually, there is just enough room for a desk, chair, computer and file cabinet. This is the kind of place in which so many of us spend forty or more hours of our lives. With so many businesses using them, they must be a good idea, right? Let's take a few minutes to look at the pros and cons of this modern workplace environment that so many of us call our home away from home.

PROS

1. Cloth walls are perfect for push pins. Once when my department moved into a brand new office space, they told us not to tack up anything because the paper would reduce the sound dampening effects of the cloth and foam. Yeah, right! That mandate lasted all of about one day. Those soft, spongy walls were just begging to have multicolored, plastic-headed pins stuck in them with everything from calendars to Dilbert cartoons. So, so long noise reduction.

2. They remind you of the cardboard forts we built as kids. "Look out! Here come the corporate raiders to steal all of our gold!"

3. They are ecologically friendly. Mountains of steel, cotton and polyurethane are saved every year by using walls that only go halfway to the ceiling.

4. Four people can be crowded into a space that used to be used for one. This also saves the company on the number of printers they have to buy. Just stick one tiny printer in the middle of a cubicle pod for 16 people. Quick! Run to the printer to snag that confidential employee status report before the other fifteen people read it!

5. You can throw things at coworkers and they don't know where it came from. When someone says something stupid like, "I wonder how much the company could save by making us share one stapler placed next to the common printer?", you can anonymously sling a plastic fork at him.

6. They give a whole new meaning to the term, "thinking outside the box". Just step into the aisle to do all of your deep thinking.

CONS

1. Lack of privacy. Cubicles seriously enhance the level of office gossip. I know when all my coworkers have car problems, home repair problems, kid problems, and marital problems. Way too much information.

2. It is a lot harder to surf the Internet in peace than in an office. You have to be ready to click on something to hide your YouTube site too often for it to be fun in a cubicle. Besides, after seeing you read the same email for about an hour, the boss starts to get a little suspicious.

3. Background noise level. Do you ever stop and just listen to the constant buzz and chatter that can be heard at any given moment in the Cubicle Jungle? This is same kind of torture that they use on prisoners at Guantanamo Bay to break down their resistance to taking orders and providing information on command. I guess we know where they did the field trials for the military, huh?

4. Prairie Dog syndrome: whenever there's a strange sound, voice or even smell on the floor, a gazillion heads pop up over the cubicle walls like prairie dogs peeping out of their desert holes. I wonder if companies can actually track the dip in productivity when someone burns microwave popcorn in the break room and all the "prairie dogs" pop up to see who did it.

It looks like the pros outweigh the cons for the company, so I guess Cube Nation is here to stay. I just can't wait until by boss retires and I can lay claim to his corner cubicle near the window.

Response to Al Sharpton on Don Imus

Don Imus is an idiot and should be taken outside and slapped repeatedly for his racist remarks about the Rutgers women's basketball team. I will settle for a two week suspension without pay and I applaud CBS, Imus' radio employer, for meting out that reprimand. I am satisfied that the issue has been handled. What I want to focus on is the knee-jerk grandstanding by Al Sharpton in insisting that Imus be fired for his remarks. Sharpton smelled a spotlight and was drawn to it like a moth to a flame, or more appropriately, like a fly to horse manure. Sharpton has done about as much to advance the cause of Black people in the last ten years as Dave Chappelle has; maybe its time for Sharpton to take a little trip to Africa himself. The man ran for President. Quick, somebody tell me what his plans are to do improve the less than 50% on-time graduation rate in many of America's major cities? What is his plan for improving health care? What about the majority of Black children being born out of wedlock? My point is he and other so-called "Black leaders" (when was that election, did I miss it?) like to run willy-nilly here and there grabbing headlines, making bold demands for the firing of a lone idiot and doing nothing between these excursions to affect real change in the lives of the people they are purported to lead. Black people don't listen to Imus, check the Nielsen ratings; and I doubt Imus does even as much as his buffoon role-model, Rush Limbaugh, to sway public opinion. Sharpton simply saw an opening to have his name attached to another public embarrassment, something at which he has become quite adept. We need to start focusing on what is important in our lives and to our quality of life and putting energy into attacking the childish taunting of one moron will not make one bit of difference. Focus on the positive, Al, take time to go and congratulate the achievement of the women, as basketball players and as college students. Put some energy into creating new jobs and new business opportunities. Celebrate the achievements of all our people to the point where our excellence shines so brightly that it cannot and will not be tarnished by anyone, let alone a Don Imus.

Some Thoughts on Barack Obama

A few witty thoughts on presidential hopeful, Senator Barack Obama, (D, IL)
My YouTube Channel is Slambar

Here, I want to talk about those preachers who can go through a whole sermon quoting everything but the Bible. It makes you wonder when some Christians have to use the term, "Bible-based Church" to describe the fact that they actually use the Bible! Hmmm...

I thought I might share my thoughts on video this time. This one is about the Dumbing Down of America, as evidenced by the degrading complexity of gameshows.

Losing Weight Harder Than Kicking Crack

Losing weight in America has to be harder than trying to get off Crack. Now I haven't tried Crack (yet) but let's think about it for a minute. I've been struggling with my weight all of my life and I dare a Crackhead to go toe-to-toe with what I've had to deal with. Could you imagine a recovering Crack addict being told that he would have to learn to only smoke the right Crack, in just the right amounts, every day, day after day.

Then imagine a Crackhead driving through the city, with a drive-thru Crackhouse on every other corner: "Hi, welcome to McCrackHead's where for just a dollar, we'll Super-Size your rock for you and include a free pipe in your McCrack Deal!"

Now our Crackhead friend goes home and turns on the TV. Commercial after commercial flashing healthy, good looking people enjoying great crack and showing no ill effect. "Chronicbee's ... Smokin' good in the Neighborhood".

If our Crackhead survives that, sticking to his doctor prescribed moderate Crack intake, be goes into the office, at holiday time, where each week, some department is celebrating by having Potluck, everybody bringing in their favorite stash. He tries to abstain, but somebody leaves a big ol' piece of Crack right on his desk. "Come on, just try a piece, you can quit doing Crack again tomorrow. You don't know what you're missing, this is my Gramma's Crack recipe!"

And the clincher is, if quitting Crack really was anything like trying to lose weight, imagine telling Mr. Crackhead that if he's moderately successful with dealing with all of this, it will be weeks, months even, before he can even start looking like he did before he started doing Crack! Man, what a deal. If only Double Cheeseburgers were illegal!